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chiquilines · 2 years ago
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Milking lesbian visibility week for all it's worth have my fav lesbians!! Come get yalls miryumi juice ik we're starving
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anika-ann · 1 year ago
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Paperweight (S.R.)
Type: one-shot, prequel, canon-ish (see A/N)
Pairining: (pre) Steve Rogers x reader    Word count: 4000
Summary: Falling in love with Steve Rogers is easy. Hiding it while your friendship blooms is considerably harder. Especially when he’s being absurdly loveable and perfectly hot during a training.
In which you stay behind after a work-out, bear witness to a training session led by Steve and are asked for assistance. How could you say no to the man?
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Warnings: FLUFF, mentions of canon-typical violence, language? Hopeless idiots in love.
A/N:  a slice-of-life standalone or a one-shot set about half a year before Love on the Brain series; reader is called “Agent Jones”; divider by firefly-graphics 😍
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If there was one thing you had known long before you joined the Avengers Initiative, it was that falling for a friend tended to be a complicated thing. It was even more complicated if one was worried it might not work out – which was practically always. The growing affection and attraction were not easy to hide, especially from perceptive people. People like Black Widow. Or worse, Steve Rogers himself.
The one thing making it easier was that everyone and their (grand)mother – in this case, the saying was way more accurate than in all other cases you were aware of – had a crush on Steve Rogers too. That meant that if someone caught you staring, lingering, or even gushing (usually meaning defending) Steve, it was hardly something unique to you. No one would think twice about it. Even as his friend, you were a person with well-working eyes and blood pumping your veins and it was indeed very hard to miss that Steve’s body was literally boosted to perfection to become the peak of man. That was fine.
However, the one thing making it insanely difficult was Steve. His irritating goodness of heart that was actually way more attractive that all typical bad boys from the movies made it seem. When he added the mischievous side to his persona, his wit, his warmth, both physical and in demeanour… and the numerous numerous occasions where he could show off not all his character qualities, but also his strength, it was impossible to stay within the lines of a simple crush.
Growing affection and attraction were never easy to hide, but god damn, in the case of Steven Grant Rogers, it was task fit for titans. And you were just a walking mass of bones, flesh, blood and hormones with a brain that might be rather well-developed, but could still short-circuit when Steve showed off the biceps that could probably bench press you without breaking a sweat – or flashed you an easy smile with the sweetest edge or a spark of being up to no good.
Now, it was given that Steve was a fan of mixed groups in training. Newbies with old dogs who needed to accept they needed to learn new tricks, men with women, different departments and teams mingling together and sharing tips. But Steve, for most part, was also a very reasonable man. He did see that there were advantages to training in groups divided according to sex as well. As someone who had spent the bigger part of his fully conscious life in a body more similar to those of women, he was aware that women needed to learn how to use their agility and how to turn the weight and strength advantage of their opponents against them for instance; men, on the other hand, needed times where they would not haveto hold back completely during training in fear of making the match unequal.
Apparently, Steve also believed that men needed to build their strength in a drool-worthy way.
You had lingered after the training session you had with your female colleagues led by the infamous Natasha Romanoff – or Nat, for you – feeling the need for extra stretches. Nat said it was fine and there was an area in the largest gym designated for stretching even as the main area could already be occupied by someone else. The someone else were men, led by Steve and Jack Rollins; you expected no issues.
You did not expect the training session to turn into a drool-fest so fast. But maybe you should have.
The architectonic genius designing the gym must have indeed been a genius, because even as the group of agents and recruits would have been out of your earshot due to the distance, you could hear Steve’s voice clear as day. You refused to believe it was because you were tuned to his gentle and yet commanding timbre he used whenever he switched to the role of a teacher, the role of the Captain.
You listened. You simply couldn’t help it: not only because it was Steve, but because of what he was saying was, in fact, intriguing.
Squats with weights, front lever. One thick iron pole, three people. As he described it, you admittedly couldn’t imagine how that would work.
And then he asked Rollins to help him demonstrate, picking an agent whose name you couldn’t recall to help by performing the front lever, which alone was a feat because of the strong core muscles and arms it required, along with incredible bodily awareness and coordination. At first, you were grateful Steve wasn’t the one showing that, because seeing him control his body so perfectly as he held onto the pole to basically levitate above the ground would send your mind to the gutter real fast.
Your mind ended up in the gutter anyway. Because the two remaining men – Steve and Rollins – were holding the pole on their shoulders while Agent Whatshisname performed his task. Steve already had to be slightly crouched because he was a good foot taller than Rollins, so it was truly difficult for you not to stare. But then… then they made a squat. Using the agent as a damn weight.
The pole rested on Steve’s wide shoulders with ease as it was nothing but a paperweight, the expanse of his back muscles dancing under his white tee. His sweats hugged his defined ass the way your hands itched to. Your stretches were forgotten.
It was just a brief moment, even if generous enough, and then he and Rollins rose to their (almost) full height. And then they repeated the motion just to show off and to test you. You were just a breathing walking mass of bones, flesh, blood and hormones indeed; you felt physically unable to avert your gaze. As for your brain, well. It circled straight to the thought of being stretched in a whole different way.
Being Steve's friend and only think about him as such was truly an impossible task.
“Easy for you, you could probably lift him on your own!” a voice called out from the crowd, clearly referring to Steve and you internally cursed and used all your willpower to snap your gaze away at last, hearing Steve’s chuckle and the murmur of agreement.
Gee, Mr. Mouthy, thanks for that mental image.
“True. But that is not the point,” Steve explained, thanking the agent for assistance in their demonstration. “This is not all about strength. If you're thinking why bother with this when you could simply lift weights...”
More murmurs of agreement followed and you asked yourself the same, for you could have lived without another image added to the collection haunting the better of your sleepless nights.
“This is not an exercise to build strength, not primarily. It's a group exercise. It’s about cooperation. It took us a hot minute too before we could show you. Come here, Agent Stalinski, please. If you didn’t mind, you’d help us demonstrate why.”
Once again, you did not find it in yourself to resist watching them; this time from genuine curiosity. At least this time, you made a point of laying your chest on your knees and only peeking at them for a few seconds, as Agent Stalinski, who seemed to regret his decision to speak up already, obediently walked to the pole. He could have refused, but he clearly didn’t want to look like a chicken – and didn’t want to disrespect Steve. It was never easy to decide and disrespect a kind man without looking like an idiot and feeling that part too. Giving a choice and respecting it was part of Steve’s charm and strength as a leader.
Without another word, Agent Stalinski performed the front lever as Rollins and Steve held the pole.
“If I use all my strength to show off, we'll fail... ready?” Steve said, waiting for Rollins to nod before they squatted.
And then Steve held back his bodily superiority considerably less than before and stood up with vigour.
It was an exhilarating sight; not only because poor Rollins nearly toppled over and even importantly, because Stalinski saved himself half a second before falling on his ass hard, but obviously also because Steve showing off his skills was a treat to watch. More so when he was proving a point; that was always fun.
And your heart could melt when Steve offered Agent Stalinski a hand to help him up, effectively shutting up the cackles that sounded among the other agents with one single glare; because humiliate the agent for mouthing off was not the point.
Goddamn Steve’s golden heart. He truly wasn’t making things any easier for you – and probably half the agency who was in love with him too.
You could hear a smile in his voice when he spoke up again, almost as if he knew.But you, in return, knew he was simply satisfied with proving his point and the agents understanding the task and the goal of the exercise. Understanding that bodily strength wasn’t everything and they needed to believe both in themselves and in each other; like Peggy Carter or Dr.Erskine once believed in him even if others didn’t.
“Like I said. It's about cooperation. One weak link – weak in working with others, not necessarily in bodily strength – and this isn’t going to work. So… let's group up and try."
As the group of agents begun to move around, you returned your full attention to your stretches, breathing in deeply, slowly releasing the air as you felt your muscles cry in both strain and relief. Remaining in position, you closed your eyes, breathing through the slight pull of pain further. You would sleep like a baby tonight; Natasha did not hold back on you, but that was part of the thrill. She pushed you all, but with enough kindness to make it worth it and a lot of more satisfaction when you could see and feel your progress.
You heard the steps as soon as you felt the floor vibrate under you, and your heart involuntarily fluttered. You should truly not be able to recognize Steve’s jog, because that bordered on creepy and obsessive, but you did go running with him quite often so you could blame it on that. At least that was how you reasoned with yourself. It had nothing to do with the fact that your mind tended to gravitate towards him too often, feel his presence, because it felt like first warm sunrays of the approaching summer.
Easing your position, you looked up as he approached you with a slightly bashful smile, a brief sparkle of mischief in his eye.
Before he could even open his mouth, you glanced behind him, noticing the issue and already guessing why he was here with you instead of the trainees.
One agent stayed alone. That meant that either both Steve and Rollins would be in a group with him, leaving the others without proper supervision and assistance or the one agent would be left out. Or you could join them for a bit. The choice of letting Steve use you – for the exercise, as a faceless agent only to even the numbers in an exercise – was a real no-brainer.
Once again, you reasoned that leaving the poor loner without a chance to train would leave you feeling evil when it was no problem for you to help; and it really would, if you were being honest with yourself. If you got to see Steve up close, either working out or directing other agents with his leadership skills, as a bonus, that was simply a nice coincidence, wasn’t it?
Raising your hand with a tired smile and gesturing for him to help you up, his grin widened, pulling you up without a second thought.
“Hey Sparkles,” he hummed gently, squeezing your hand before releasing you. “Could-“
“Sure, GG,” you interrupted him, rolling your shoulders and pretending your heart didn’t skip a beat when his eyebrows rose, one corner of his lips quirking.
“Well, now I’m tempted to ask anything.”
You gulped. It was nothing but a friendly teasing, you knew. But damn if it didn’t make your stomach somersault a bit, if you didn’t think you saw something flash in his eyes.
The thing was, he could ask you anything. And your little foolish heart would probably command you to do it. Especially when he smiled like that as he towered over you, eyes roaming over you with slight concern in his expression.
“Thank you. You don't even have to do the horizontal workout-“ he noted, a genuine worry in his voice as if he didn’t just said the words horizontal workout in a completely different context than you would like him to. He had to know about how you felt about him and was doing this on purpose, wasn’t he? “Just...”
“Be your paperweight?” you suggested cheekily, hopefully masking how the probably unintended innuendo made your face hot.
“I mean-“ You raised eyebrows when he looked as if he was about to deny it. Really? “Well, yes, basically. It’s an important role either way. And I know you could do it, but you already have one session behind you and you were already almost done with your stretches. I understand if you don’t want to undo all of that. So really, any way you’re willing to assist us, we’ll be grateful.”
It truly would have been easier if Steve was only attractive; or only kind, considerate or passionate. But the fact he was all of it was a deadly cocktail you had got addicted rather fast. He was like a magnet, calling out for every part of you and pulling you into his orbit with ease and inevitability. How could you say no to him?
“Sure, whatever. We'll see. But if I’m joining you, I might as well go for the full experience, right?”
Steve smiled at you, a proud edge to the soft curl of his lips, as he beckoned to the agents. The warmth spreading through your body was already well-worth the hard work you had ahead of you.
“Right. Let’s go.”
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People who even suspected that they were in love should be stripped of their lawful right to make decisions and be declared temporary insane for the time being. Or maybe that just applied to people in Steve Rogers’ vicinity. That was what you thought of as you wiped the sweat off, feeling your hands trembling minutely with exhaustion.
Of course you had gone for it. You went for the work-out with all you had and maybe even what you didn’t have, but how could you relent for even a second when you had Steve’s proud grin directed straight at you whenever you tried another rep and succeeded at least partially? Your abdomen muscles burned, but when something flashed in his eye, admiration and something you couldn’t quite decipher beyond the emotion being a good one, the pleasant warmth in your belly simply took over and you gritted your teeth once more.
Your body was utterly ruined, all thanks to Steve; and it might not be in all ways you sometimes dreamed about, but the satisfaction it brought you was still well worth it.
The shaking not so much.
The other agents went to run a few laps under Rollins’ command as Steve followed you back to the stretching area, smile all soft and playful even if a little concerned since you walked with a slight wobble. Your core muscles were so overworked that it even affected your ability to walk.
You’d be sore tomorrow; very sore. If there was a chance to prevent at least part of the pain awaiting you in the morning, it was only natural you would take it, right?
That was how you reasoned with yourself. That was how you justified that when Steve’s gentle giant hands carefully took yours with an unspoken question, thumbs pressing into your right forearm just right, you let out the words ‘yes please’ with as little moany quality in your voice as possible.
You must have succeeded, because Steve didn’t seem to notice. If he did, he was polite enough not to mention it. Needless to say that you were grateful you could blame the flush in your face on your previous work-out.
Working his way up your arm in a perfectly collected manner, Steve pressed against the tendons and muscles with precision and well-calculated amount of strength; he wasn’t rough at all, yet he made sure you felt it.
You would bet there were a lot of things which he could make you feel it, but you tried to steer your mind away from the gutter as much as possible. Once again, you blamed your momentary inability to do that more than usual on exhaustion, the lovely visuals you had been offered, and Steve’s more than pleasant touch.
“Thank you, Sparkles. You did amazing,” Steve spoke simply but sincerely, an easy smile on his lips as if his thumbs weren’t kneading the exact spot you needed, flooding your body with the relief you craved; your muscles. Your muscles craved.
Focus.
The gush of wind created by the running agents helped you ground yourself in reality.
You weren’t alone. There was a purpose – a very platonic purpose – to what Steve was doing. He was thanking you for being a good colleague and teammate and it was time again for your brain to switch into that mode. Because there was no romantic mode in your relationship with Steve. There were two people needed for that and if all Steve was offering was his absolutely exquisite friendship, the best-friendship as it seemed to bloom lately, you’d grab it and never let go. Not for anything.
And you’d take a quick massage to your exhausted muscles too.
To sweeten the deal, it felt really good to be praised by Captain America himself. You would be lying if compliments from the Steve Rogers, the ultimate good man, were the only ones that mattered to you; the side to Steve which carried the mantle of the Captain and appreciated you wasn’t exactly something to sneer at, quite on the contrary.
“I didn't want him to feel out if I could help,” you shrugged, earning a slightly scolding look as you moved your shoulders, the arm under Steve’s touch tensing when it was supposed to be relaxed. You grinned apologetically. “And you know you're a good motivator- I mean--- motivational speaker... whatever.”
The gentle rumble of Steve’s chuckle was nothing short of warm even as his grin gained a teasing note.
“Why thank you. I'll consider a career change to a motivational speaker indeed.”
You chuckled too – and instantly regretted it as your belly spasmed minutely, trembling due to the way you overdid the work-out. Steve’s fingers ceased their movements, simply gripping your arm in support. Glancing up, you found his brows furrowed in worry.
Bless the sweet man. But if he was so concerned about your abdomen muscles, maybe he could massage them too- stop.
“Yeah, okay, maybe I pushed myself a bit too much,” you admitted with another chuckle, gritting your teeth to stop the hiss threatening to escape your lips. “Glad I could help. But you mister, are forbidden from making me laugh for the next 48 hours.”
He glanced at the finger you pointed at him with slight offence.
“But I like making you laugh?”
You glanced up on instinct. There was the faintest pout to his lips as your eyes met his and you found yourself on the receiving end of the warmest gaze. His hands were cradling your elbow now – giant and gentle still, thumb brushing over your bicep.
Yes. It was a true shame that Steve’s feelings towards you were merely platonic. Because at this moment, the blue pools of his irises seemed so inviting you’d follow him anywhere, to hell and back; and you knew he’d keep you safe, held your elbow tenderly but firmly when the need would arise and he’d protect your heart too, because Steve Rogers was as much of a fighter as a protector. You already knew as much. You wanted to know even more.
You wanted more. Selfishly and wistfully, you wanted more, especially in moments like this, moments that felt as easy as breathing with him even when your chest felt so full that breathing in seemed difficult – useless. Had he leaned forward, had he taken your lips, you wouldn’t care for oxygen, you’d- stop.
You had to stop and take a cold shower in the evening.
“GG-“
“Cap? What’s next?”
You nearly jumped out of your skin when Rollins’ howl reached your ears.
Whatever you were about to say died in your throat, whatever your hazed brain planned. You had to admit it was rather satisfactory to see Steve jump a little too, his hands practically dropping your arm and realizing last minute you had obediently left it completely limp and it might hurt. So he gingerly pressed into your bicep two more times, slowly manoeuvring your arm back down, wary of any rapid movements.
“Be right with you!” Steve called back, turning to you with another smile. You probably only imagined the hint of regret and yet; it was a nice feeling to see you’d be missed.
“Well, the crowds call your name, Mr. Motivational Speaker. Thanks for the quick massage, GG.”
“Thank you. Now go get some rest.”
“Yes, sir.”
You cackled at his unamused face when you addressed him as such, quickly replaced by a brief smirk at how you instantly regretted your actions, your belly protesting again. Serves you right, that smirk said, but quickly blended into the signature worried frown.
“Rest, Agent Jones,” he bit back good-naturedly, shooting you one last glance before he jogged back to other agents under his wing.
You watched him retreat, allowing yourself one last indulgence in the form of the glorious view of his back and ass, before you sighed and turned to walk away, the wobble in your step still present. You hoped a hot shower would ease the tension in your abdomen; however, you did not forget about the need for a cold shower either.
You supposed such was the price for being friends with Steven Grant Rogers.
You didn’t mind paying it, more so when you were gaining too.
It shouldn’t have surprised you, but it did: the evening found you with a knock on your door from your sweet neighbour and a sweet aroma of sugar, cinnamon and apples. Steve stood in your doorway with a slightly bashful but brilliant grin, holding a plate with at least a third of a freshly baked pie that might as well have been prepared by Martha Stewart herself, but was baked by her biggest competition in the baking department.
“Is this allowed or does it fall under don't make me laugh category?” Steve questioned innocently and this time, you remembered to lay your arm over your belly when you laughed a bit, smiling wide, something so painfully soft, gentle and just a little heavy humming in your chest.
“Well, I think this falls into making me smile category, so I'll allow it,” you said, not even pretending you needed to think too hard.
“Good. I like making you smile too.”
The acute feeling in your chest grew – warm, tender and bright – an echo of outrage in your ribcage that Steve could say the words so easily as if they couldn’t be a declaration of love as well as friendship.
“Yeah. I like it too. And same,” you hummed, stepping back to let him in. “Come in, neighbour.”
As you invited him into your apartment, you knew that you were – all over again – inviting him into your heart too.
Maybe that was a dangerous thing to do; but in your line of work, a little danger was an occupational hazard. Of all the risks you could take upon, carrying love for Steve Rogers was one you’d take upon gladly. You’d happily taken the burden; because the weight you’d carry couldn’t be heavier than a paperweight. And even if it was, if that was a weight you were allowed to carry, at least platonically, you’d do so with pride – and with your whole heart.
Because Steve Rogers deserved nothing less.
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Steve Rogers masterlist // Love on The Brain masterlist
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Saw a video of this specific work out and my mind couldn’t let go of it… and it’s no longer available, sorry 🤐
Re-reading this, I am genuinely shocked they lasted so long and that it took the Love on the Brain case to break them… well, put them together, whatever :)
I hope you enjoyed this little floofy blurb and that autumn is being kind to you 💕
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Do you know anything (or maybe have some headcanons) about Rohan’s wedding traditions? How do they propose to be married? What kind of wedding outfits do they have? Do they marry for life, or does divorce exist? Thank you so much! I so love reading all your musings about Rohan!
Thanks for this question, and for being so nice! I love to talk Rohan, so I appreciate the chance! ❤️
I’ve actually never written a Rohirrim wedding and there really isn’t anything to go on from the books/lore, either, so I don’t have a fully developed idea of what that would look like.
Off the cuff, I’d say weddings in Rohan probably vary a lot depending on the wealth, status, location, etc. of the couple. Rich people will obviously have a much bigger, more elaborate wedding, maybe with multiple days of feasting and revelry, while a poor couple has a simple ceremony and a little party. Someone from the far western borders might have different traditions, perhaps with some Dunlendish influence as they were direct neighbors and sometimes intermarried, versus someone in the Wold, which is all the way east, extremely rural and sparsely populated. There’s no official religion of Rohan or anything that might have imposed uniformity on all their rituals, so variety is the name of the game. But there would be some common cultural elements, like toasting and poems and songs, etc. All that ceremonial stuff is in the category of things I definitely need to think more about, though I’m also always interested in other people’s thoughts and ideas, too!
For proposals, I think it was a tradition for most of Rohan’s history (something they picked up from the Gondorians) for royalty and nobles to be guided into negotiated marriages that were considered strategically advantageous. (Marrying for love is one of the few privileges of the poor! They could just find someone they liked, decide between themselves that they wanted to marry and then move forward.) Arranged marriage is something I have addressed in my stories. I’ve written about Elfhild growing to love Théoden deeply over time but still always regretting a little that she didn’t get to choose him. Also, my Théodred HATED the idea of being forced into a marriage and held out against it, which is why he was still unmarried into his 40’s. He didn’t live to see that officially change (*sob*), but I think it did. Éomer makes it clear in ROTK that Éowyn consented to Faramir’s proposal — “she grants it full willing” — and if he had learned that personal autonomy was important for her, I think he’d want to give the same autonomy to himself, his children and others in the future.
As for divorce, there’s no evidence for it in canon (and I am CERTAIN that Tolkien would hate it) but I’m a big believer that divorce is one of the most important tools for the protection of women’s interests to ever exist. So I want it in Rohan! I have a tiny piece of a draft somewhere of Éomer’s wife (who is not Lothíriel in my fics, but a daughter of Elfhelm) being left to rule alone while Éomer is away on business in Gondor, and she essentially invents divorce while he’s gone by granting the plea of several women for the dissolution of their marriages to drunken jerks. Even though the husbands complain bitterly to Éomer when he returns, Éomer has learned some stuff through the years and backs his wife’s move. I’m not sure if that little idea will ever make it into a posted story, but it exists not just in my head but on my google drive!
Thanks again for being so kind! And if you or anyone else have creative Rohirrim wedding/marriage ideas, please always feel free to share them with me!
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secretlywritingstories · 1 year ago
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This thing won't have you, it won't win | BG3 Astarion one shot
Summary: You had tried to kill Astarion because he was the one you cared for the most. Now you'd vowed not to sleep to keep him safe. It doesn't take long for him to notice and confront you.
Tags: During canon Act 3, resisting the urge, late night conversation, show of trust
Warnings: Past suicidal idealisation and talk of dying/being killed
Word count: 4.8k
Read on AO3 or below
It should feel like victory to have made it this far. A mere walk away from getting into Baldur’s Gate. Part of you hadn’t sure if you were ever going to make it here, but now it was within your grasp. You might even have been there already, if you hadn’t insisted that you should approach the gate with fresh eyes and set up camp in Rivington for tonight.
Most of your companions had very good reasons to want to be in the city as soon as possible. Shadowheart wanted to search for her parents, Wyll wanted to rescue his father, Karlach wanted to confront Gortash, Lae’zel wanted to meet with Voss, Gale wanted to find answers in Sorcerous Sundries and Astarion wanted to confront Cazador. You’d promised to assist all of them with their missions, even if you weren’t sure why they trusted you.
Especially now that they’d seen the destructive dark urge brimming under your skin. Though, they did all seem to move past it too quickly. So very full of trust when you were just as dangerous as the monsters you all had been hunting. It had only been a couple of days since you tried to murder Astarion in his sleep, and they all sleep soundly or trance comfortably next to you again.
They were so trusting. It would be so easy to take advantage.  
Granted, a lot had happened since then. Taking down Ketheric Thorm was no easy feat, nor was the battle inside of the prism that revealed that your supposed dream guardian was none other than a mindflayer. It’s just monsters everywhere you turned these days. After today, you could add Orin to that list.
A shapeshifter with the ability to imitate any of you. She could be any of your companions right now, feigning sleep and plotting her move. That should be the reason you were staying awake restlessly, but wasn’t. You were fairly confident that you could sniff out an imposter if needs must.
It was something she said that added to your sleeplessness. When you found her impersonating that Flaming Fist. In the moment, you tried not to let the words burrow under your skin but now they did. She called you her sibling.
Even though she could shapeshift, you doubted she meant that she was a fellow tiefling. No, her words spoke of something much more sinister. A deeper bond. One likely made of servitude. And you knew which of the Dead Three that she served.
Bhaal. The lord of murder.
And a killing urge had been burning in your chest ever since you woke up on that nautiloid. It’s been the only thing that you’d felt yourself tethered to. The urges compelling you to take lives and delight in the gore. It’s the most real thing about you, and it felt like it was the only thing you would find whenever you tried to look into your past.
It was what that stupid self-acclaimed butler, Sceleritas Fel, kept telling you about yourself too. As if this used to be something you did with pleasure. You were good at it. What did that say about you?
“Darling?”
The way you twisted around, weapon raised and poised to strike could just be a testament to all of the trauma and fighting you’ve had to undergo these past weeks. It would surely be enough to make anyone skittish and paranoid.
But you felt how your body moves with practiced ease, and it took all of your focus to adjust your swing to avoid contact when you spotted Astarion’s red eyes. Granted, he could probably survive a slash of your dagger, but you didn’t trust yourself not to keep going if you started spilling his blood.
“You got a death wish?” you snarled.
Your grip on the dagger was so tight that it almost hurt. Just like it would hurt to plunge it into Astarion’s heart. It wouldn’t kill him, but it would make such a beautiful mess. Blood everywhere. Oddly, he’d probably appreciate the view too.
“I did,” Astarion said and despite how you just tried to attack him, he found a spot next to you. He ducked into you tent to share your bed roll. “Before.”
The word was loaded and it made your jaw flex. You had a feeling that you still didn’t know the true extent of Astarion’s torment at Cazador’s hands but you’d got more than enough to paint a vivid picture. It made sense that he wanted to die before.
200 years was a very long time. It’s the kind of time that you couldn’t even grasp. You didn’t think you’ve been alive for that long, but even if you had, you wouldn’t know. Sometimes, it really did feel like your brain was only a few weeks old. Everything before it was black.
No, not black.
Red.
Bathed in it.
You were just as bad as the damn ox with his inner visions of carnage.
A touch on the back of your hand pulled your attention back to Astarion. His touch was so gentle that you barely felt it. You weren’t sure how he could touch you like that when you almost took his life just days ago.
When you would have made quick work of him just like you did poor Alfira. Alfira who just wanted to join the party, see the world and play her lute. The same lute that still sat in the camp chest, bloodied edge untouched.
You’d blacked out for that. No recollection at all but the blood on your hands and the sick delight twirling around in your chest was more than enough to confirm you were the culprit. It should have been the first warning. The others should have kicked you out of the camp.
Even if you now knew it would have turned you into a mindflayer without the prism’s protection. Though, it had flown to you before, and the Emperor seemed rather attached to you. So maybe you’d have killed all of the others if you’d wandered off and it had decided to follow you.
“Maybe you should kill me,” you found yourself saying to Astarion and withdrawing the hand under his touch.
You didn’t deserve gentleness. Not when you might have laid waste to whole cites, bathed in the blood of children and done it all with a sick grin on your face. It felt like something you would have done.
Well, not you now, but you then. And you were not sure if there is all that much of a difference. Fighting was becoming more difficult with each passing day.
“Way too late for that,” Astarion said, drawing his hand back to himself. “If you wanted to die at my hand, then you should have let me drain you that first night.”
Right. Back then, he could have killed you. You had presented yourself to him and let him sink his teeth into your neck. Part of it felt wrong, like you shouldn’t be handing him such an obvious chance to hurt you.
But he’d stopped when you’d asked. And every time since that, he’d just taken enough to recover his strength, not even disturbing you in your sleep.
“Can’t turn back time,” you muttered.
If you could, you’d go further back. Figure out what had happened to you. You had more pieces now, and you knew you’d landed in a pod in the mindflayer colony and been experimented on. A sneaking suspicion told you that maybe Orin had been involved in landing you in there with the way she acted around you.
But if you had truly been her sibling and delighted in killing like your urges told you, wouldn’t you have been on the same side? Why would she have turned on you?
Astarion let out a soft huff. “I would not want to,” he said and reached for you again. This time, it wasn’t just fingers gracing the back of your hand. No, he grabbed your hand and pulled it into his lap. Held on tight enough that you couldn’t just slip it away easily.
You could get it free. His fingers probably broke rather delicately. Snap, snap, snap.
No. You liked his hands. You didn’t want them destroyed. You pinched your eyes together and willed the thoughts away. It was something you were getting better at, at the very least. You were starting to have practice.
But it had been something different when it came to the full slaughter. You hadn’t been able to anticipate what happened with Alfira. You had just barely managed to warn Astarion that he was about to be next.
And when you’d come to all tired up and angry, it had felt like you were in some sort of primate, feral state. But it had still felt like you. Just unleashed. Like it was always going to be brimming underneath the surface. It had been caught just in time, but you might not be as lucky next time.
“I’m going to hurt you,” you said to Astarion and felt how it cracked something open in your heart.
You’d told Sceleritas Fel that you hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to Astarion about how you cared for him yet. It was the truth, but it was probably better if he didn’t know the true extent of it.
You were so selfish for even getting involved with him when your past was blank but stained. When you had to worry about tadpoles in your brains and the elder brain being controlled by lunatics. Two now, instead of three but still. There should be no time for romance or attachment at all.
It didn’t seem to matter, because you couldn’t deny that you cared deeply for Astarion. In fact, you cared for every single one of your companions and all of them were in danger because you couldn’t control this part of you.
“I’ve got thick skin. You know, you’ve seen my scars,” Astarion said, voice almost dancing over the words, even as he pulled forth his own trauma for you. “Is this why you haven’t been sleeping?”
You snapped your head sideways to face him. “What?”
He was right of course, but you’d mostly been sneaky with you lack of sleep. You still let keeping watch rotate and you lied down in your tent, pretending to sleep. It was taking its toll, but it wasn’t anything that a few healing potions couldn’t fix. It was a good thing that you were far more precise with your arrows than your spells. Those hadn’t been recharged in a while.
“Halsin noticed,” Astarion said, just a touch too casual. “You’ve got to remember that I’m not the only elf in the camp anymore. Him and Jaheira aren’t as willing to look the other way.”
“Concerned?” you asked, propping a knee up in front of you, leaning on it and tilting your head to the side. You tried to pull your hand back over to yourself, but Astarion kept hold of it. Not hard, just enough that it couldn’t slip away from him without you putting more force behind it.
You didn’t.
“Always, that big hunk of an elf. He has quite the soft spot for you. Going on about how he had high expectations and you exceeded even those,” Astarion said, and he was too tense about it.
Jealous maybe?
He hadn’t seemed to care back in the groove when several of the other companions started to veer for your attention. He hadn’t brought it up until that dance with Wyll where he’d asked you to choose between them. You’d chosen Astarion without blinking.
It had been easy.
All of the other companions had their beauty, charms and even dark demons, but Astarion was the only one who seemed to get you. He accepted you, even when you weren’t always put together right. He’d proved that even more when he’d comforted you after you’d tried to kill him.
You wondered if this was a wound for him and Halsin was a tool that you could press into it. Drive a wedge between you and Astarion. If you broke up, then he might no longer be the one you cared for the most. He could be safe from your sharp claws wanting to dig in and draw blood.
Though, if you did that, maybe it would just be someone else next time. Your care for Astarion was extraordinary but you truly cared for everyone in camp. Even the kid you’d allowed to stay here on a whim. Yena. A damn bleeding heart you were, even if it was not the kind of blood that you desired to spill.
It was the second time you’d brought a child into camp. Arabella had made it away okay but it was not sure that Yena would. Perhaps that was why Astarion had wanted to turn her away.
He would never admit it, but you were discovering a soft side to him. Just like now, with how he was holding your hand, thumb gently stroking over the back of it. A little quiet moment for just the two of you. You’d been spiralling and he’d come to find you. Sit with you, so the night didn’t seem so daunting.
You should be driving Astarion away but your heart couldn’t take prying into his insecurities. It felt too cruel. You might be bloodthirsty and have urges but you didn’t want to be cruel.
At least not the you who didn’t remember what you’d been like before.  
“Do you think I’m a worshipper of Bhaal?” you asked him, gnawing on your lip.
“Because of what that maniac shapeshifter said?” Astarion asked.
“Orin,” you corrected, even though you knew he must know her name. He liked to play aloof and like he wasn’t paying attention but he always did.
“No,” Astarion said. 
“What? it’s the most sensible explanation,” you argued.
“Well, remember what you asked, love. You asked if you’re a worshipper. Present tense. You’re not.”
“Semantics.”
“No, I do not think so. You don’t know your past but you do know what you’ve been acting like in these weeks.”
He was trying to be sweet but maybe he had fallen for whatever charade you’d been putting on. Yes, you’d tried to be honest with your companions about what was going on with you, but you knew they couldn’t truly grasp the extent of it. Just how brutal it got inside of your head.
“Just because I don’t remember doesn’t mean that it’s not true. And I doubt you just leave Bhaal behind. Look how complicated it got with Shar for Shadowheart,” you pointed out.
“And look how she’s now. New hairdo and everything!” Astarion said with a high-pitch giggle.
He was clearly trying to lighten the mood, but you wouldn’t let him. This was too dangerous.
“She was a Selûnite first,” you reminded him. “Taken against her will when she was just a child. Brainwashed into worship.”
Astarion clicked his tongue and gave your hand a squeeze.
“And who’s to say that you weren’t?”
You didn’t mean to laugh but it jumped out of you. You almost admired his optimism and faith in you. You didn’t think that he’d be the kind to look on the brighter side of things, yet here he was. Maybe he really was changing.
“Because I like it,” you admitted in a tiny voice. “I revel in it. I crave it. The urge is all-consuming sometimes. And it’s…”
Your throat felt tight. Not like you were about to cry but like you were about to scream. Scream out all of the frustration and fear sitting so tightly in your chest.
“Tell me,” he requested so gently.
How could you deny him?
“It’s not this thing,” you said recalling his words from that night. They had burned into your brain so much and you’d clung to them like they were a lifeline, even if it felt like it was made of twine.
This thing won’t have you.
It won’t win.
But it would. Because as much as you wanted to trust it and believe him, it didn’t feel like a thing. Something external. It would have been so much easier if you could cheat yourself into believing that. This was something done to you. A thing making you do horrible thing. A forced worship. A butler guiding your murderous hand. Any of the options was better than what felt like the truth if you dared look close enough.
That it was just you. Not a thing in you, but part of you. Intricately woven into your very fabric in a way that it could never be separated. It would win because the only way to kill it would be to kill yourself.
“It’s me,” you whispered.
Astarion let go of you hand and you thought that maybe he was finally recoiling in fear and disgust when he understood that all the death and destruction lived in your bones. But then he came close again. Much closer than before. Kneeling. Right in front of you and reaching up to gently cradle your face.
A thumb swiped across your cheek.
It felt wet.
Tears.
You were crying. No, what? You weren’t even sure you could do that. You hadn’t so far since you’d woken up. You had been ready to chalk it up to the fact that you were mindless and traumatised, or maybe just incapable of it. Like you could either be a murderous lunatic or a cry-baby but not both.
Clearly, you had been wrong.
You hoped it wasn’t the only thing you were wrong about. But you shouldn’t cling to that hope. You should be protecting Astarion and create distance between the two of you. So, you wouldn’t have the urge to drive a stake through his heart again. You weren’t sure what you’d do if you went to sleep and woke up with his blood on your hands.
Maybe it would make you snap into your old self. Bloodthirst ruling above all when you’d taken the life of the person you cared for the most.
Astarion’s eyes were so expressive and he looked like he wanted to say words of comfort but he was holding back. You appreciate that. You didn’t want platitudes right now, because you felt just vicious enough to twist them and spit them back in his face.
But you let him hold your face and look at you, even if it hurt to be seen like this.
“You know what I thought when I first saw you?” you asked, closing your eyes so you wouldn’t have to look at him as you shared this confession.
“What a handsome elf,” he said, a wry twist to his words.
You huffed out the tiniest laugh.
“Not too far off,” you said and swallowed. Licked your lips, exhaled. “What a perfect pretty corpse he’d make.”
You were echoing a thought that had resurfaced that night you’d felt driven to kill him. A fantasy that you couldn’t shake from your brain. You didn’t feel like you wanted him dead. In fact, you wanted to protect him but your thoughts told you a different thing.
Astarion didn’t let go of your face, but he let out a soft hum. Considering. You didn’t dare open your eyes to see the expression on his face.
“Stay here,” he said, gently letting go of you, “and keep your eyes closed.”
You had been proclaimed the leader by every single companion, even if you had never fought for the position. You didn’t have to listen to anyone. They had to listen to you. But still, you sat with your eyes closed and waited just like Astarion had asked.
The night air was crisp and almost comforting. Tomorrow, you’d reach Baldur’s Gate and you could find an inn. You’d leave your camping days behind you. You had a feeling that you’d miss it. 
Astarion came back and it felt as if he was making more noise than he needed as to not startle you again. He could move deadly silent if he wanted, as he’d proved against your enemies many times. They never knew what hit them when he came out from the shadows.
“Hands,” Astarion asked and you weren’t sure what he was asking for but you lifted both your hands, palms up.
He took hold of them and he pressed a handle of a weapon into your waiting hands. Not one of your own, they all had handles smoothened from use. No, this texture was rough, like uncut wood.
Astarion hadn’t said that you could open your eyes but they snapped open all the same, and you opened them just in time to see him kneeling in front of you again. Only this time, there was a stake between you and your hands on the handle of it, while he guided the sharp tip to the centre of his chest.
When you realised, you tried to thrash away and toss it aside. It would kill him if you drove that through and you weren’t in control of your impulses. What in the hells was he thinking? He had said he didn’t want to die anymore but then he handed you the very thing that could kill him.
“Astarion,” you said, in warning, when he grabbed your elbow with one hand and curled your hands back around the stake firmly with his other.
“This is what you should have done when you found out that I was a vampire spawn,” he said, and you’d never quite heard his voice sound so quiet. His usual melodic tones stripped away, it seemed to bare and vulnerable. “It is what most people would have done if they’d woken up to a vampire trying to feed on them.”
You couldn’t exactly disagree with that, but honestly the thought hadn’t crossed your mind. A part of you had been almost thankful, because it meant someone else in camp was hiding a dark secret. That you weren’t the only one driven by your urges.
You’d uncovered more of your companions’ secrets now, but Astarion had been the first. A glimmer of hope that you weren’t quite so alone. Of course, you hadn’t killed him. You understood what it was like having bloodthirst driving you.
“I didn’t want to kill you,” you said, and the words sounded strange in your mouth. You meant them but it still felt unnatural.
Astarion’s expression softened into a smile and he looked like he knew something that you didn’t. But instead of flaunting that, he was trying to make a point. You weren’t sure that you liked where this was going but you were still bound and breathless to watch. Poised with a weapon to end him with just one good thrust.
“And a stake to the heart is what would have happened the morning after too, if you hadn’t stuck your neck out for me figuratively as well as literally. Our companions would have killed me.”
“They wouldn’t have,” you argued because you knew the good hearts of your companions.
Even back then, when everything had been new and confusing and you were just figuring each other out. They wouldn’t have killed him, would they? You didn’t want to think them capable of killing Astarion, but all of you had blood on your hands by now.
Sure, it was mostly blood of cultists hellbent on causing war and destruction or monsters trying to take your lives, but it was still lives lost. And with each fight, you fed into that urge to kill just a bit more. It wasn’t enough to fully satisfy it clearly, but it was a slight release all the same.
But you didn’t want to drive this stake through Astarion. You wanted to let go of it and pull him into your arms. Hold him instead. Close enough that some of your hellish warmth could seep into his cold skin.
“You are dangerous,” Astarion said, looking into your eyes with purpose. “But so am I. So is everyone in this camp. Trained killers the lot of us. Complicated pasts. You’re not special.”
His voice tilted up, gaining a humorous lilt and it made you laugh. It sounded kind of choked up and wet. His red eyes had never looked as soft as they did while gazing into yours.
“You are,” you whispered, almost inaudible but he’d hear it. “Special.”
“You can try to kill me anytime,” Astarion said. “I don’t think you’ll go through with it.”
What a novel and lovely idea. As if your love for him could keep him safe when it was exactly the thing condemning him to your murderous attentions.
Your love for him.
It was love, wasn’t it? You didn’t have anything to compare to, but it felt like that, even out here in the wilderness, tadpoled brains and an ever-present ticking clock. However unlikely, it felt real.
“You don’t know what I’m capable of,” you told him and hoped that he could see the sincerity in your eyes. Make him understand the threat he was standing opposite.
“You don’t either,” he said, lip twisting up to a smirk and you guessed that he had a point with that.
He moved the hand from your elbow and instead laid both of his hands on top of yours. He let himself press just a bit more into the stake, enough that it was catching on his sleepshirt. A flimsy fabric. It would do nothing to stop the stake from driving through it. Smooth like butter. It would sail right home, poison his heart and stop it a second time.
Stop it for good.
“You’re playing a dangerous game.”
“And yet, I’ve never felt so alive,” he said and leaned just a tiny bit closer. “You are not your past, even if you don’t remember it. So, the urges are a part of you. Big deal. You still get a choice who you want to be right now. Just like I do. Let’s keep making choices together. This is what freedom is about, isn’t it?”
It felt like a stake was driven through your heart, knocking all of the air from your lungs with one fell swoop. He was paraphrasing something you’d said to him. That he’d be responsible for his own choices now that he was out from under Cazador’s thumb.
For good and for bad.
He was right. It wasn’t so different from you. You were still the one making the choices. You were allowed to cast the die on your present and your future, just not your past.
The nagging grating voice in the back of your head still told you that you could drive the stake in and kill Astarion but you shut it right up, like you had done dozens of times already. You just had to keep resisting that part of yourself. You could do that.
“Let go,” you told Astarion and he pulled his hands from yours.
He looked at you, chest open and inviting for malice, but you tossed the stake aside and instead grabbed hold of his face. You cradled it like he’d cradled yours, holding it like he was the most precious thing in all of Faerûn. He might just be.
“It’s not going to be easy,” you said, leaning your face closer to his.
You wanted to spill every warning you could think of but you knew that he already knew a lot of it. He’d seen you in action, tied up and snarling like a feral beast. You at your most dangerous and at your most vulnerable. And he’d taken care of you.
He’d chosen to take care of you when he had ever right to kill you.
You had to choose to take care of him, even if your urges screamed to kill him.
 “Kiss me.”
Astarion’s smile turned soft and he reached behind your back until he could pull you right up against him into his lap. His hands stayed behind your back, holding onto you gently, as your tail whipped back and forth in anticipation.
“You’ve got this, and I’ve got you,” he whispered as he leaned in to press your lips together.
Those were other words echoed from that night when you almost made the worst mistake of your life. You hadn’t really heard him then. Too hung up on how he didn’t understand that the urges controlled you so deeply, so intricately, but now you were finally ready to hear him.
“And I’ve got you,” you whispered back, as you broke the kiss just for a moment.
When you kissed him again, you felt how his lips tilted up into a smile.
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imthepunchlord · 3 months ago
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On mass restoration, you could actually remove it entirely from the Bugettes AU to keep the balance that the other anon was talking about as well as give Paris a reason to take the situation more seriously as a whole. One big reason that the citizens and government are even able to make fighting akumas and by extension fighting Hawkmoth only Ladybug’s (and Chat Noir’s but not really) problem is because she has the Miraculous Cure, which is something that they take more and more for granted as the shown goes on, which also bleeds into taking advantage of Ladybug as a public figure (the Ladyblog and paparazzi being the most egregious examples) even if the writers don’t intend for it to come off that way. While removing mass restoration as a factor would possibly increase pressure in a different way, there being 5 more permanent heroes than canon helps spread it out so that there’s actually less pressure per person while giving Andre and co. the in-your-face reality that they need to take this magical conflict and the heroes way more seriously, not to mention the motivation of pragmatism (since responsibility and civic duty obviously aren’t cutting it) to get off their asses and actually help in a way that they would need the heroes’ cooperation, support, and permission to sign off on now that their own livelihoods are being longlastingly affected.
Mass restoration I'd like to keep, as that can naturally offer a chance for things to stay light. Mindful, it can depend on the focus, but typically damage done to a city can be serious/dour.
Also, if the city does get involved in the Miraculous business, that does risk the potential of Andre getting the Butterfly or it being sent to the French government and be even harder to get and more dangerous.
It works better keeping Miraculous business exclusive to Miraculous. There can be a narrative to explore of the government interested in them, but I'm not sure I want to do that with Bugettes au.
It also fits really well for Miraculous to have the mass restoration. By meaning, they're miracles, serendipitous, marvelous, and wonderful. By sounds of it, it fits for them to come with miracle related solutions.
I will say, one possibility is having the Cure an extension of a power, a secondary ability. Which, it kinda already is. Lucky Charm could be set up as giving you an item you need to win (getting lucky), give up your lucky charm to share it with others (the mass restoration). Most of the, Ladybug summons the Cure through the LC anyway, so might as well have it as an extended ability.
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kijosakka · 8 months ago
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TD Alenoah AU, where Noah came from a messed up family like Alejandro did... When Noah was a kid, Noah's parents became divorced and Noah's mother took the sisters, while leaving Noah with his ambitious father (because the mother grew to resent anything male)... Noah's father wanted to take advantage of the fact that Noah was a genius to make Noah a scientist or something and get rich off of him... Noah's father pressured Noah to study hard all the time, to go to a great college and earn the love of his father... The father would sometimes even make Noah stay up late at night studying until Noah knows everything perfectly (which is why present teen Noah gets tired so easily)...
When Noah was finished with elementary school, his Aunt (from his mother's side) and Uncle came to visit Noah and they were horrified at how his father was treating him... Noah's father got thrown in jail and Noah's mother refuses to take care of him, so Noah was taken in by his aunt and uncle; they became Noah's true family... The aunt and uncle were very loving and kind and patient with Noah, which Noah is very grateful for... Noah's little cousins look up to Noah and idolize him, while in return Noah cares about them deeply... His cousins are currently 10 and 12 years old girls; they're chaotic, love sports and love having adventures in nature; Izzy and Eva remind Noah of his dear cousins...
Noah had NEVER told anyone this before, not even Owen, because Noah is ashamed of his past... But Noah eventually decides to tell Alejandro (who he was friends with for a super long time at that point), when Alejandro first told Noah about how horrible his family was... When Alejandro heard what Noah went though, he gave Noah a hug! 💔❤️💖
i do think exploring how noah would not only interact with alejandro in this scenario but how it shapes him outside of his canon characterization could be really interesting here.
because, and please take this with a grain of salt i’ve been patiently waiting to take my ap psych class for months and still haven’t been able to, in-universe at least, noahs general Behaviors are kinda just. there?
granted this is narratively because he’s a comic relief character but my point here is that he’s just kinda an asshole. that’s just how he Is. but here it would make more sense for that to be more of a defense mechanism than a facet of personality — leading into how this hypothetical noah would socialize.
^ sticking in a parallel here to alejandro’s family dynamic (the made-up one. in my head.), there might be a general. lack. of it.
i can imagine what with such a heavy push to focus only on academics, noah ended up missing out on having friends and further than that, potentially believing it as normal for a good while; and while he’d come to learn (pre-td) that wasn’t the case, i’d imagine TD would be the first time that notion is ever confronted head-on.
head-on beyond family, of course, imagining that when everything is said and done and he’s under custody of other family he’s rightfully touchy about the subject and prefers to not confront the issue at all — and of course the potential here for noah to lean hard into academics as a kind of escapism since he really didn’t grow up with much else.
not to say he doesn’t have any growth at all, because i can definitely see burnout hitting noah like a semi around his highschool years (not to mention chronic sleep deprivation and years of ignoring bodily cues).
so say his grades slip, and despite being in a better environment he is still terrified of punishment; he’s, for lack of a better term, really fucking stressed out. and through that, some well meaning family member brings up the idea of total drama (seeing as in-universe it’s implied it was more in-line with a talent show and all the contestants believed it would take place on a 5-star resort), and,, to be honest i can see it as possible that noah would read into it as 'we don't want you here' and accept out of reprimand.
circling back around -- total drama is the first proper thing to confront his lack of socialization; while i am a tragic fan of the 'noah got himself eliminated on purpose' theory, i do think it would make more sense here for him to have genuinely not known. Zero Social Skills.
(^ and is furthermore an example of how his childhood shaped him -- he doesn't think he needs to be good at socializing because he's academically smart and that should be enough. that's always been what he's pushed towards, and the standards are logically lower here -- he'd been taught that's all that mattered and while he's learned since then that is objectively false, this is the first time he's being forced to face it.)
anyway i'd imagine he finds eva, izzy, and owen all easiest to socialize himself with because of all their specific personality traits and how there really are no faux pas he's in fear of making (and ofc the parallels he sees with certain cousins and his friends).
post-tdi but especially post-action i think would be when noah also moves on to confronting those issues with his family specifically (bringing up things like his major stresses with academics), leading to him being pulled out of school entirely and doing self-paced online coursework,,, and of course now giving him time to Get A Job.
world tour,, ngl going full au here i do think it would work better if alejandro and noah left off WT as genuinely just friends -- what with the familial traumas and potentially rather heavy themes, i think it'd work better overall for their dynamic to literally just be friends for a while and have it develop into something more later.
also just as a concept i think it would be funny for alejandro and noah, once learning about each others terrible families and being deeper into the healing process themselves to just make the worst fucking jokes ever. most inopportune. izzy laughs along while eva and owen are quite concerned (sticking alejandro into team escope + owen here btw. put that Guy in That Group)
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unabashedly-so · 1 year ago
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💙💜🩷 SDV Bachelor HC 🩷💜💙
How much has each bachelor explored their bisexuality?
Content warning: compulsive heteronormativity, loss of family, grief, risky sexual behavior mention, drinking mention. SFW.
✨The Bachelors✨
Elliott
look me in the eye and just try to tell me this man doesn't already know. i dare you i fuckin' dare you i WANT YOU TO
that line on the 10 heart boat scene about not knowing he could feel that way about another man is bullshit and that is a piece of canon I toss into the sea.
now please understand the majority of this is colored by my very vivid hc of Elliott's upbringing and young adult life, but you're literally reading a hc post that is labeled hc so you bought the ticket now board the train. choo choo mfs.
the low hanging fruit is that this is a man that canonically spends hours on hair care, dresses like that, talks like that, etc. etc.. Yes, you can be cishet etc. and do that, sure.
and don't get me wrong, it's valid that Elliott could just Be Like That. (I love and respect the hell out of that incorrect opinion)
but this man is penny-romance novel cover coded. just. think about that. think about this active CHOICE he is making.
ffs he lives on a BEACH and dresses in a THREE-PIECE SUIT with his PERFECTLY COIFFED hair that he has to spend HOURS on because that's what happens when you LIVE. ON. A. BEACH.
i am going to have an aneurysm about this man's life choices rn
he's arguably pretty self-secure*, which tracks because you don't get to be his age and not have some better understanding of yourself. As others have pointed out, there's no real ""growth"" in Elliott's arc because boy came whole because HE BEEN KNEW HE BEEN THROUGH THIS ALREADY. He's secure in his identity because he's worked it out already! He's moved on! focusing on his career and legacy now that he knows who is he and who he's not!!
*dont make me drag out the receipts his part is already long enough just trust me ok
now meet Elliott in his early 20's and wow, buddy, you are trying way too hard I promise you things are gonna be okay sweetheart
speaking of his early 20's, it's hc to me that he did, uhhhh, so much exploring. of everything. and everyone in the English and Theater department during university.
King Slut, long may he reign. 🙏
just. someone who's not as self-secure and self-aware would not be able to own the aesthetic PLUS the temperament we see with Elliott, who really only gets flustered with the intimate interpersonal stuff because he's a romantic and it's meaningful. He's confident in who he is and the kind of person he wants to be, and you don't get to that point in life without having done a lot of experimenting and soul-searching.
I could write a whole fucking meta on this boy, but for today: 9/10 he knows it, owns it, enjoys it, but he's got more interesting things going on in his opinion than to make one of his core personality traits just Gay/Queer/Bi/Pan, etc. He has an AESTHETIC and BI BY YOBA he's sticking to it.
also he can walk in heels better than you.
Harvey
Hmm, he's actually hard to get a read on for me. There's a few others in the fandom who might have a better take than me, but here's what I can offer.
first let's grant him that he's older. With age comes wisdom, experience, etc. the older bachelor/ettes are just going to be at an advantage vs the younger ones.
also... like 8 years in college. I cannot be swayed away from this as a crucial part of his journey.
twinkle TWINK-le little snack.
it just feels like one of those things he felt happening in high school and might have gotten bullied for it because everyone Knew but he couldn't/wouldn't just own it.
but then in college he finally realized that owning it would give him the power, so he did. kind of. very quietly.
he probably had a boyfriend or two in undergrad. They were definitely the kind to hold hands from the coffee shop to the library. you know the ones, we've all seen 'em. <3
and isn't he just so lucky that he can get butterflies from girls too?
a blessing and a burden for this man with anxiety because, oh no, now everyone's cute.
by the time he gets to Pelican town, his last relationship kind of ended on a sour note, so he's a little discouraged from pursuing romantic relationships, hence why he's a bit guarded and shy and nervous.
he gets a 8/10, he's just quiet about it because who's business is it but his own? also, like, he's literally the doctor for everyone. He's gotta keep some confidentiality in this small town.
Sebastian
while he doesn't show it, I'd say Sebastian is actually quite comfortable with being bi.
I mean like as comfortable as he can be around people in general.
He doesn't bring it up, and doesn't really let anyone know either, but again that's just kind of his MO, regardless of gender.
now when he's Together with someone, well that's a different story. we stan possessive Sebastian in this house 🫡
he probably wouldn't bring it up with the gang unless someone else brought it up first. 🤷���♀️
would probably give some semi-defensive response of "yeah, what of it??" to his friends, but a low hearts farmer might get a coldly aggro "why are you asking? That's none of your business."
he and Maru Know about each other but keep those conversations private. hashtag just sibling things ig
has definitely kissed guys at concerts before. Lots of people can also provide a feeling of anonymity, letting him get lost in the crowd and not have to worry so much. 10/10
Shane
closeted sportsballer. As a former Closeted Sportsballer, I can see this going two ways.
First option: you DO NOT explore that unless you want things to get real weird REAL FAST.
Like, I'm not even talking locker room nonsense, let's be mature here. Even if you do not like your teammates, you WILL still share a Sports Bond with them built on a shared passion, a common goal, and lots of comiseration.
So if you're already on iffy social standing, which I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say Shane might have had... you're gonna have a bad time.
Then after his gridball career ended, it may have already been baked in that that was Dangerous. OR he could have just been so far down the path of self-loathing that he stopped looking at people romantically.
OR OR--part of his self-loathing actually opened him up to exploring his sexuality......
......which is a very nice way of saying he took part in a lot of risky sexual encounters. 😮‍💨 (with all genders! One night stands do not discriminate!)
so if there were any feelings involved, it was... not good or conducive to self-understanding. Probably made things worse.
cue the drinking! the depression! all the risky behaviors!
ALTERNATIVELY... Option two: he does explore Feelings For Dudes and it could have played into his sportsball exit. 🤔
Hi. Let me just reiterate personal experience here: LEAVING A TEAM CAN REALLY FUCK YOU UP depending on your life outside the sport. Sports teams are a social support group, like, I really hate the phrase "like family"... but literally structurally so similar. If you already don't have a strong family life outside of the sport (like Shane has admitted to, let's fuckin goooooo), AND being on a team is an overall positive thing in your life??
Leaving your team (willingly or unwillingly) takes away that social support. And not just the social/emotional support, but the structure to your life, the routine, the feeling of belonging, the PURPOSE!!!
gee, wonder what kind of feelings those can bring about in a person. like a sad chicken man.
are we seeing a trend here???????
Ok this definitely got more into a sportsball psychological study, but what I'm saying is my money's on gridball heavily influencing his trajectory but since he DIDN'T have the family or social supports outside of it, he crashed and burned afterwards. Contrast with Alex below who DID have social supports and--
focus, bisexuality.
Personally, I like the idea that Shane's been with dudes, but it's never been anything emotionally healthy (except maybe one pre-gridball-exodus which could have prompted the leave......🤔👀) or fulfilling.
5/10, would be 6 but he got -1 because it was driven by self-loathing. >:(
somebody come show him some mlm love!!!
Sam
baby boy. sweet baby boy.
the younger bachelor/ettes are at a bit of a disadvantage because they're in the time of their life where they would be exploring their sexualities in a conducive environment. Not to say the valley isn't but there's, uh, only 11 other singletons there and they all know each other sooooo...
that said, due to Kent's military career, it's likely Sam has had time living outside of Pelican Town, so may be a bit farther ahead than, say, Sebastian who's lived there his whole life.
speaking of Kent, it's canon that Daddy has been in and out of his life and tbf I don't remember exactly how Sam feels about that but
I'm JUST SAYIN'. baby boy gets a whiff of attention from some buff dude who wants to make him his baby girl?? melting.
you know the trope of how girls with absent fathers sometimes overcorrect for that and seek out male attention like crazy? well, who says boys are any different??
what I'm getting at is this: you're trying to tell me Sam has NEVER had a raging crush on Alex?????
I mean fr it was probably like. Alex told him "good choice" on his ice cream flavor once and it was all downhill from there.
plus I'm hoping he's got a solid enough friendship with Sebastian (and Abigail) that they could talk about these things without it getting weird.
also, singer/lead guitarist in a band?? come on, too easy.
anyway 5/10, once again a bit oblivious until he gets smacked in the face. Definitely a flavor of "haha no homo bro! :):) ...... unless...?? 👀"
Alex
closeted sportsballer, round 2 EXCEPT
he canonically admits he crushes real easy. so just statistically speaking, there's an equal likelihood that he's crushed on the male singletons of the valley, too. Which totally doesn't even take into consideration his gridballer time, which I'll get to in a second.
he also admits his crushes don't usually last very long. part of that probably has to do with a lot with attachment issues (seriously he should be more messed up than he is), but if gridball is just SDV American Football, there's probably a good deal of internalized homophobia Alex has had to either work through or not work through. hence why his not het crushes might not last long.
but confusing and conflicting as they may be, THEY'RE STILL THERE. just. probably presenting more like a "wow I'm really noticing this person a lot lately huh. I mean I guess they look pretty good and seem kind of cool..." he's completely and utterly oblivious to so much, his own feelings included.
so what I'm saying is there was a brief window of time where Alex unknowingly had a crush on Sam and, listen, under the right circumstances Sam/Alex (Smalex?) could have been canonized--don'T BOO ME, I'm RIGHT
as for gridball, compulsive heteronormativity is absolutely rampant so there's no way he could have felt comfortable exploring his interest in other gender(s). ESPECIALLY in his case where he's still kind of on the outside, trying to model himself to fit a certain kind of mold. Just, no chance, absolutely none.
and really, Idk, between him and Haley I'm starting to get real compulsive heteronormativity vibes now... not that they're mad about it, but they were kinda forced into those roles and, well, the shoes KIND OF fit I GUESS...
you might say it was ... they're kind of sh... shoeho--shoehorn--*shot*
Anyway, boy's represso. 2/10, if you called him bi he'd say wait why are you leaving , what did you want to tell me???
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mymiraclebox · 6 months ago
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If you could make a balanced team of 18 members (like the canon paris super hero team) out of every miraculouses you made who would you pick? (Atleast 1-2 alphas 1-2 elementals 1-2 timekeepers and the rest are delta)
Graay the Wolf (Order) - Is there bias because he's my favorite? Yes, but I also do think that the Balance Duo's powers would be very useful in part of a team. While not able to full on reverse everything like Miraculous Ladybug can, the Wolf's powers do allow their holders to preserve locations so no harm comes to them in the first place.
Prrysm the Platypus (Chaos) - If Order is chosen, then Chaos needs to be there as well. Also the unpredictability of Chaos' abilities does make it versatile, and can be a good way to nullify enemies' abilities.
Emburr the Phoenix (Fire) - All Elementals are very powerful, so I definitely think others could be placed here as well, but I chose Fire for its ability to summon an ally, and being able to freely use fire powers without burning everything down thanks to the Alphas.
Keena the Lynx (Intuition) - For a team build, being able to sense to sense the near future and direct danger would be a great defensive power to have. Perhaps not the same raw power as say the Rabbit, but more useful for a team in battle.
Zipp the Dragonfly (Progression) - Like with the Lynx, I feel the Dragonfly's ability can be very useful in the field. Speed is a great advantage to have, and he's able to grant such with his manipulation of time.
Harmonee the Ant (Cooperation) - If you’re talking about a balanced team, I think Harmonee should always be here. Her powers allow teams to work together in perfect harmony, and can let the whole team be fully aware of information immediately, like anything the Lynx might sense.
Belaa the Jaguar (Imperception) - Allows one to completely avoid detection in any form, perfect for undercover missions or sneaking up on foes.
Sorren the Falcon (Observation) - Ability to see anywhere at once is a great tactical advantage, but its even better when paired with the Ant, allowing all teammates to use that information innately at once.
Tyyto the Owl (Secrets) - When you have a big team full of secret identities, having a power that can make it so people can't reveal such Secrets could be lifesaving if outsiders learn anything. Also Tyyto's other powers are good for intel gathering, which can immediately be shared with the whole team through the Ant.
Sannar the Axolotl (Restoration) - With no Miraculous Ladybugs around I'd say it’s important to have a healer.
Snapp the Crab (Adaptation) - Snapp is a common pick for me with questions like this, but when isn't getting the exact ability you need at that moment not useful?
Yanna the Bison (Victory) - Why have luck on your side when you can have Victory herself? While not a guaranteed win, you do get your team energized, and gain the ability to always claim your Prize.
Kaanda the Rhino (Augmentation) - There's a lot of fun and powerful abilities to choose from, but honestly I don't think you can go wrong with just a simple "grow big and attack". Also I feel a strong offensive ability is needed, along with the fact that this power would pair well with the Wolf's, keeping the Rhino from causing harm to the environment from their enhanced size.
Olivv the Dove (Peace) - Like a strong offense, I think a strong defense is needed as well. Not only can the Dove lessen tensions, but it can also create a space where anyone can find Peace and safety; and seeing how big this team is I am assuming they might be in a highly populated area, so I can see a shelter like this being necessary.
Ziibi the Otter (Transformation) - First of all shapeshfiting is awesome. Second of all it provides a lot of versatility and opportunities in a fight.
Aynna the Scarab (Reflection) - With the Scarab's ability to deflect and redirect attacks, they could make for a good defensive addition to the team, especially out in the battlefield.
Acce the Thylacine (Isolation) - Got a problem that's hard to take care of immediately? Pop it out of existence for a bit!
Verr the Gorilla (Sacrifice) - Verr doesn't offer the most diverse powers, but he does provide a golden opportunity to instantly take down a dangerous threat. I think his powers fit really well here, with a large team being able to protect the user after they faint, without making much of a dent in their numbers.
It was more difficult than I thought with not using any canon powers in this lineup, as Miraculous Ladybug is just so good of a power, the Bee is OP, and the Ox and Turtle have probably some of the best defensive abilities. I decided to opt out of any emotion-based abilities for this team with my inclusion of the Ant, as Hivemind nulls the effectiveness of such on the team with positive emotions, or could risk breaking the Hivemind with more negative emotions. I was also considering my Pangolin for a defensive ability (she's able to manipulate present physical barriers), but I think the Wolf's preservation powers would override hers. That also eliminated other abilities that could impact the landscape; such as Earth, Growth, or Corrosion. Overall I also tried to avoid overly similar powers, like since I had Cooperation, I didn't see the need to add Connections or Loyalty to the roster, etc.
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slightlyhopefulromantic · 10 months ago
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been thinking about doing a class swap for a week or so, but i couldnt think of anything for prudence - until party fowl, of course, where oxventure gave an alternative class to me XD i might come back to these and do lines and color, but for now, just some sketches :]
some extra rambling under the cut about my thought process for all of these:
corazón was a pretty easy choice, considering he's already in a band and loves to charisma his way out of things, haha. he's a little less flashy than canon corazón since being a bard gets him plenty of attention as is LOL so he dresses more plainly. he puts up a display of being very cheerful and a friend to all, but this is very much a display - he still is corazón, with all of his brooding and jealousy, which led to him getting the rest of his pirate crew cursed, of course. though he was not initially captain of the joyful damnation, he took control of it after the incident of the cursehole, and is slightly prone to going on rants about "oh, they never took old CORAZÓN seriously, but see who isn't cursed now!" (<- was the one who got them cursed)
prudence was still raised by cyrus the hermit, but when she decided to follow cthulhu instead of zargon, she left behind the life of a warlock entirely. she still follows cthulhu, hence the evil-looking octopus tattoo on her shoulder, but this is purely a religious thing and does not grant her power. she's path of the beast because of course she is, she's a werebear. she carries an axe. she does not use said axe when she can just claw wildly or whip her tail around, but she definitely carries it!
dob was my favorite to draw. he's a pretty boy :] he has the most different backstory - he still got rabies, but an archfey took pity on him after suzette left to find a cure and gifted him with a fruit from feywilds to cure him. he spent some time in the feywilds as he recovered and was only returned to geth quite a few years later, and promptly set off on a quest to find his lost sister. this was, of course, a way for the fey to lay claim over him and now he's in a deal that greatly hinders his life, but he likes looking on the bright side of things! everyone thinks he smells lovely and comforting and he doesn't even have to wash himself for it to happen! awesome!
egbert is incredibly similar to canon. he has a big shield, hits people with his mace, and he's the religion guy (does not do anything with this). when he left the noble order of le dragon d'or, he was called to follow la vache mauve and was bidden to swap his class to cleric. he is not exceptionally good at the healing side of being cleric, but luckily he's light domain, so he can just blast people with all sorts of fire and radiant spells
merilwen was probably the hardest for me to sort out, since she is so based in being a druid and going with ranger seemed too easy (and also was already given to dob, lol). the vision of her riding on a bear took over though, so i went for cavalier so she could have advantage with mounted combat! i imagine that she would very rarely get to do this, but she loves that she has the ability to, and she definitely has an unnecessarily high animal handling score
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f0point5 · 3 months ago
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Hey, sorry in advance if this turns out very long 😅 it's just that I find you have very nuanced and interesting takes about f1 and I wanted to hear your opinion about what came up in my post race thoughts and conversations.
Mostly it is about Danny / the Redbull second driver mess since he left. To put it simply I think it boils down to: What even is this driver management?
Danny leaves and we get the whole Pierre and Alex debacle where they were just not ready yet for the pressure. Granted I still think that given the chances RB had at that point they could have given them a bit more of a chance but whatever.
Then comes Checo, and at first, he delivers, and all is fine until he seemingly can no longer pull anything and there's rumors left and right about him being replaced for like a year at this point. Not to mention this time, there is actually something at stake, so getting rid of him might actually be the right thing for the championship(s). But they keep him anyway. For what? Money? Vibes? The fact he pointed out the car was shit?
Meanwhile, their second team gets seemingly worse every year. I mean, that car is a tractor, not to mention the abysmal strategies. Pierre leaves to have a chance somewhere else. Yuki improves, which is good, but it's clear they'll never promote him to RB, and he's frankly not good at providing helpful feedback for their development in any way. Nyck was there for like a minute before he was kicked. Back comes Danny only to injure himself and in jumps Lawson. Danny recovers and comes back, but he's not a wizard who can suddenly deliver while that team is just shit. But he provides valuable feedback and helps bring both teams forward, at least somewhat from what we heard.
Only to kick him out for what exactly? To bring Lawson in now rather than next season? I like liam and he deserves a chance but what good does bringing him in right now do instead of just letting Danny finish the season and retire at the end of it. Cause if that truly was his last race it's honestly just sad he couldn't even get a proper goodbye.
Don't get me wrong, it's better than if things had ended after McLaren, but still... I don't see what advantage RB gains to rush the inevitable. At best, Lawson comes in and is slightly better than Danny. He would still need at least one to two seasons before he could be ready to switch to RBR. And if that doesn't work? Do they just keep holding on to checo because they have no alternative? No one on the current grid just wants to play second fiddle to Max, I'd say.
I guess I'm just confused as to the timing of things. I love Danny, but he was never the same after McLaren, so I knew his days back were numbered. But to just rush him out like that after his history with RB doesn't sit right with me if there is seemingly nothing to really gain from it right this moment
Ok so.
I have to say, I think There’s sooo many factors here. But I’m just going to say I think it mostly boils down to the fact that since late 2022, Red Bull has been entirely reactionary in terms of their driver lineup.
I maintain that it was a good idea to get rid of Pierre and Alex. Pierre was a loose canon, and Alex was a mess by the end of 2020, he needed that break to sort his head out. And I think ultimately he works better as a big fish in a small pond. Putting young drivers next to Max didn’t work because they were too close in age so the competition was too intense and they were too prone to using Max as a hard stick, plus they were too early in their careers to settle into the second driver role. Bringing in someone like Checo, who had experience but also was just grateful to have a good car, was the right move.
But I think the end of 2022 is where it started going off the boil. In terms of Alpha Tauri, it stopped being a proper junior team when they moved Pierre back there, and kept Yuki for several years (most likely because of the Honda deal). They had these two sitting there not doing anything creating a bottleneck. And then Pierre left, and instead of promoting from within their own talent pool they brought in Nyck. Big mistake. Clearly they wanted someone experienced, maybe hoping to have a back up in case they didn’t keep Perez long term, but them having to send Liam to super formula is where the problem started. Now, obviously there’s rumours about Daniel being on that non-compete with McLaren so maybe they wanted him in originally, who knows, but the fact is, Liam should have had the Alpha Tauri seat. This is where the bottleneck started in their talent pool.
Then 2023 happened, and Perez’s dip in performance was embarrassing, but RB didn’t care because Max was winning the championship on his own, breaking records on his own, bringing brand visibility on his own. (But I think it’s important to note, he was NOT bringing in the cash on his own. There were rumours that sponsors weren’t even happy because of how little coverage Max got in races. Not to mention with a €50m base salary plus a bonus structure, Red Bull probably had to pay out around €70m to Max. Perez’s latam and sponsor support were probably crucial to balancing the books that year). But RB still had to react to the poor press they were getting from the dominance, and Nyck’s poor performance…enter Danny Ric (and let’s not forget them shopping for new title sponsors, who were probably more likely to slap their name on a team with such a popular driver in a seat).
Then Danny Ric has an accident. They have to react to that so enter Liam Lawson. Then Lawson over-delivers so they have to react again to keep him under contract but they can’t afford to get rid of Daniel…so they sign some half baked contract promising him a race seat (potentially even promising him races in 2024) to keep the option on him until October (Helmut said they had until October to offer him a race seat).
Everything they do is just plugging holes.
So now they have three drivers for three seats. But that’s the least of their problems because their car has gone to hell and they’re on the verge of pissing off Max The Mealticket. So maybe they kill two birds with own stone and give Max a teammate he likes, who likes the same car as he does, keep Cash Cow Ricciardo, and keep Lawson. And Perez is underperforming anyway so Daniel can’t really be worse.
But oh no. Liberty Media says “that’s not going to work for us”. So now they’re stuck again.
They need to keep Lawson, because neither Perez nor Ricciardo have the shelf life never mind the talent to replace Max if he decides to leave because they’re near the end of their careers. So their only option is to dump Ricciardo. Maybe they’re keeping him sweet saying they’re trying Lawson out for the rest of the season and if he doesn’t deliver they’ll bring Daniel back but lbr, Liam will very likely do well enough. And fundamentally this is the only way they can get rid of the bottleneck.
My point is…I don’t think this is driver management as much as it is two years of crisis management. I don’t think they have a plan, I think they are just constantly trying to deal with an unsustainable situation.
And I didn’t even touch on the Austrian/British/Mateschitz/Thai/Christian/Helmut power struggle. But I think that’s such an unknown that I would be speaking with even less facts there so it would just be 95% conjecture.
Not that the driver stuff is all facts but I feel like I managed to put together a coherent theory based on a timeline.
Anyway I hope you got where I’m going with this?
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ambriel-angstwitch · 4 months ago
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Let’s talk about the (fictional) historical and political implications of Pixar’s Incredibles.
I did a post on this before a year ago but I just watched it again and found even more stuff to talk about.
So for those of you that don’t know Incredibles is set in the year 1962 which granted Disney might have done purely for aesthetics but the implications that could have are insane.
To start off Super Powers
All of the characters we see with Super powers (other than of course the children) are of an age where they could have enlisted in the army for World War II.
Now this makes me wonder if superhero’s were made by the government for the war. (A la Captain America)
Another thing that might back up supersoldiers initially being super soldiers is the fact that Syndrome seems to be surprised that they made super babies.
He didn’t hunt down any other supers kids despite the fact that he’s hunting all supers.
Which means he probably didn’t know they’d be super. All evidence leads to the belief that Helen and Bobs generation were the first super generation. So he wasn’t aware that the super trait could pass down.
(You may say oh incredibles 2 had people of all ages! I say Pixar forgets its own storyline so it doesn’t factor into my theory. If syndrome hunted down the supers why are there still supers? Because Pixar wants to make money with no regard to lore that’s why)
And even if the supers aren’t government created you would assume that the government would still take advantage of them in war time.
Like how would having these super soldiers affect the war? Do all the countries have supers?
Second Topic is Syndrome canonically makes his money by making weapons and selling them.
Which means Syndrome was most likely helping both sides of the Cold War.
Not only that the story is set in 1962
1962 and weapons?
Is that ringing any bells?
Well it should because that’s the Cuban Missle crisis.
Did syndrome partially cause the Cuban missle crises in this universe?
He probably at least contributed to it because he’s making the missles
Then on top of that this guy is making space ships so he might have even been helping countries with the space race.
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tavshortfortavern · 1 year ago
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Isekai!Tav Plot Bunnies
Origins of Humans.
Earth being a canon place in Forgotten Realms lore as another plane birthed a lot of ideas. I thought it was really convenient for any isekai plots but now it makes me wonder of the world. Specifically humans on Earth and those in Faerun. Cuz how did that happen. In DND humans do not have clear origins or a 'creator deity'' like dwarves or elves. Storytelling-wise, this is up to the DM and writers but that means my plot bunnies could be true. Humans came from Earth. Earth could be the origins of humanity.
I did some reading and found that mages from this place called the Imaskari Empire opened portal to this 'other world' and kidnapped humans to be slaves. The places these kidnapped humans came from were described to be similar to those on earth like Egypt or Mesopotamia. The mages closed those portals and put wards to prevent future gates for a very long time (Gates from Earth to Toril used to be common thats why its called Forgotten Realms) Not forever or permanently. Just a long time. It would make sense for those wards to wane after so much time and that's how a Tav would stumble into Faerun from modern earth.
I'm inclined to think Earth is the original home as Faerun has no clue how humans came about, even humans but on our world we have plenty of creation stories and myths, a lot of which mimics the other. Granted even we can't all agree which is the one true origin but we we have them. It also makes sense for humans, who are known for traveling and being able to thrive wherever they wish (even when its not ideal or possible) to be in different worlds. They're just so short-lived they wouldn't remember ancient times.
So Tav ends up in Faerun and becomes an adventurer for a time before getting tadpoled. They keep being from another world a secret. Through the course of the adventure they learn of the wards preventing gates being opened to their world, which is an issue if they want to head back. The more they delve into this they slowly piece together ancient, ancient history and realize the truth. This might be a chance to involve earth dieties. There are so many dieties and pantheon on earth compared to Fearun. Someone pointed out how many goddesses of magic there are and it hasn't left me. So maybe earth had magic at some point of its gone now?
There might also be how different Tav's soul could be. Someone else mentioned in Faerun, souls are created by the gods so an isekai Tav soul could be different being from earth. It could come with its advantages but drawbacks. Such as resurrection and dying. But the gods on Faerun might not be able to do anything with that Tav either, escaping a lot of divine retribution if they decide to meddle and be rude. Maybe Ao doesn't want them here bc they would disrupt everything but can't do anything since they're soul is not from here and what if the earth gods have a problem? They're kinda outnumbered.
This is just me but I have fun thinking of Tav not just from earth but a more futuristic version. I'm a fan of medieval fantasy meets scifi. Being a world without magic means humanity is focused on advancing technology and it shows. A normal isekai Tav is already chaffing at the lack of modern comforts but a futuristic Tav is trying so hard not to make faces at this 'backwards' society.
Idk this has been stuck with me for a whole
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downthegenderriver · 9 months ago
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The Souls of the Overlords Alastor took down.
So we know that soon after Alastor died he kidnapped and tortured a load of Overlords for that sweet sweet attention. My question is: what happened to the souls these overlords owned once Alastor was done with them. I see three broad possibilities
The souls were freed upon Alastor getting bored with their master and putting the overlord out of their misery.
He leverages the overlord's misery into a deal and agrees to mercy kill them in exchange for whatever souls they have in their possesion.
He doesn't kill them, he keeps them in a torture dimension forever to provide endless screams and/or to provide potential future leverage in case their situations can be used to his advantage somehow
All three of these possibilities are tantalising.
Option 1 is probably the best option if you are one of the souls in question, but option 3 de-facto frees you for most practical purposes, even if it stops you from making any deals where souls are used as collateral. That means a decent proportion of sinners would have some degree of goodwill towards Alastor even if he didn't do it for Altrustic reasons. Depending on the former overlord's MO, this may even apply to option 2 as Alastor seems to be fairly hands off most of the time in regards to his contracts and if any of the contracts required maintanence there's every chance he let some of them lapse.
Option 3 is the most interesting for me because it creates a portion of the population who are impossible to recruit via soul deal and thus need more mundane methods to keep on side as while they may be worth recruiting for their skills, you wouldn't be able to force them to stay on side, which is not how any established overlords would be used to operating. It kindof makes sense with how we know some of the other overlords operate. We know Vox and Valentino (and probably Velvette too) have mind control powers to some extent and they are implied to be the ones to really benefit from the Power Vaccuum Alastor created. Through mind control they could extract labour to give themselves a leg up on the rise to power before more souls came that were able to be properly bought.
It also fits with what we see of Rosie, who's main quirk as an overlord is having what looks like an extremely good relationship with the people of cannibal town. She probably pre-dates Alastor's arrival but probably not by much. Being able to earn genuine loyalty in hell is a rare trait and that probably grants stability during chaotic periods.
Option 2 might be the intended characterisation as it allows Alastor to establish a powerbase of his own very quickly (even if it doesn't explain how he defeated whoever the first overlord was) as it basically allows him to combine all the soul deals of almost all the overlords at time of his arrival, and we know from Husk's experience that he isn't above buying souls from an overlord in trouble. But I wouldn't say there's enough information to explicitly declare this canon (unless viv said it in a livestream or on twitter or something)
In regards to characterisation implications for Alastor himself. Option 1 Reinforces his nature as primarily interested in his own entertainment, Option 2 emphasises his desire for power and is easily the most explicitly villainous. Option 3 is the most chaotic as while he is leaving himself a few cards to play in case it becomes useful, it is not explictly power grabby but also reduces the ability of other potential overlords to exploit the power vaccuum, as it stops the newly freed souls from being able to resell their souls if they get desperate enough. It reinforces his nature as a destablising presence.
Anyone else have thoughts?
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fish-bowl-2 · 1 year ago
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hit me with some ed-canons!
OH BOY
It is always so funny how I love having excuses to talk about these guys, but the moment I am put on the spot I literally forget everything. I'll try and list a few for each.
Ed:
This isn't at all an uncommon head-canon for Ed, but I really do see him gravitating to creative careers. Things like filmmaking and cartooning. Hell, they already establish in the show that he kind of has a photographic memory in regards to penmanship, so he might even have an opportunity in graphic design. I don't really see him becoming fully professional since, realistically, it is a hard industry to have success in exclusively, and I think his struggles with things such as attention span and memory would also be significant obstacles. Creative stuff would definitely be best as a side gig or a very passionate hobby in combination with a more stable manual labor/construction work job.
Throughout the rest of middle school and high school, Ed continues to work for Rolf as a low-pressure farmhand. He especially likes working in the springtime when the baby chicks hatch :3
Ed gets really into dnd and ttrpgs. He regularly tries to drag Edd and Eddy into doing some campaigns, even though neither of them are that invested. They humor him though and play some, but they are incapable of ever finishing them because Edd and Eddy always end up arguing about something and Ed has trouble remembering what they did last.
Edd:
On top of having trichotillomania, he has tendencies for other body-focused repetitive behavior like dermatillomania, dermatophagia, and onychophagia.
Edd doesn't only have an ant farm, but he's dabbled in other kinds of insect/arachnid keeping. Mostly things he's found outside. He's kept caterpillars, ladybugs, spiders, and mantis. He always tends to release them once they've reached adulthood, but sometimes, his curiosity turns morbid. He absolutely takes too much advantage of his parents not being home to put whatever he wants in the freezer. He's probably also tried bug pinning. He is especially interested in the order Hymenoptera.
Starting in high school, he starts to take higher level courses, which means he doesn't have any classes with Ed and Eddy other than lunch and extracurriculars. He doesn't experience so many problems with the classes themself, but more so that he finds it extremely alienating and lonely. On top of intimidating and confidence-killing, since he starts to realize there are people out there who are way smarter than him.
Eddy:
Mostly bonded with his dad through movies, which is why his taste skews a bit more old-fashioned (granted, he was definitely enjoying those cowboy films for an entirely different reason than his dad was 💀). He's extremely impressionable. He probably bases his personality off of a different classic male lead every week. One day he's going for Humphrey Bogart, the other he's John Travolta. It keeps things interesting.
He has dyslexia. Good luck trying to tell him that, though. He'd rather die than admit that.
He's really good with kids, in a naturalistic "funny uncle" kind of way where you talk to them as if they are just little adults. That doesn't mean he's the best role model in any way. He's definitely sold pot to 14 year olds while in high school (Edd made sure he never heard the end of it).
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tetsunabouquet · 1 year ago
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Could you do some head canons with the gom + kagami, Hanamiya and Nash x pole dancer! s/o ? How would they react, would they take advantage of them (lmao this sounds bad but I meant it in a good way)? You can make them as spicy as you want, maybe even turn them a little nsfw st the end? ♡
Akashi
-Not into it. -To be honest, he dumps you as soon as he finds out. -For one, he dates to marry and I don't think Akashi would see a sex worker (which an erotic dancer also is) as wife material. -Secondly, as the Akashi heir his father would kill him and their family's reputation would be in ruins. -He would date the daughter of a sex worker though if she doesn't do the same lifestyle. -However, because of his reputation, he would only date you if you've distanced yourself from your mother and any person you might know from the underworld.
Midorima
-Also not into it. -Though if he was really into you, he'd continue to date you if you promised to quit. -His family would actually accept you with time. -As I actually believe Midorima's family does just wants him to be happy. After all, they always put up with all of his weird habits. -If you were the daughter of a sex worker and struggled with the whole underworld looming over your childhood, Midorima would actually be someone who'd help you. -His family in this scenario would adopt you if they could.
Aomine
-Into it. -Though he'll punch every guy bothering you after work. -He can also get pretty jealous. -Momoi accepts you. -Aomine buys and has a pole installed into his home. -He loves seeing you dance for him, and he will jerk off as he watches you. -He wouldn't interrupt you during a performance though, he wants to appreciate you. -Will break when you give him a lap dance, and he'll take you right there and then.
"I'm one step away from slamming into you if you move your hips like that one more time."
Murasakibara
-Doesn't care. -He's not posessive or anything, and grants you your freedom as you please. -Does like it when you perform for him in a candy girl aesthetic. -He lives for that sort of thing. -His family doesn't cares much either. -Murasakibara is just the one who's the most cool with everything.
"You're as sweet as candy, babe."
Kise -Very much into it at first. -But I think he'd be more jealous and uncomfortable with it once you're married and settled down. I just get that vibe from Kise. -Just like I have the vibe that his older sisters will recommend you specific outfits to tease him (he definitely seems like the type to get teased by his older siblings). -Kise will errupt into nose bleeds if you wear them, and will pretty much be in a daze when he watches you perform. -If you'd be interested, Kise is the one who can arrange roles for you in the film industry, like being an erotic dancer in a strip club scene. -Kise has some videos of your perfomances stored, so whenever he has to go to another country for a shoot or fashion show, he can pleasure himself watching you. -He's your number one fan.
"Fuck baby, turn this way, show those beautiful tits to the camera."
Kagami
-He supports your every decision. -Kagami is very awkward about the subject though, considering he's not the best with women. -He can get a bit overprotective and worried about your career though. -Instant nosebleed whenever he sees you perform. -He's always so eager to fuck you every time you perform, he's almost like a puppy.
"You look so sexy baby, can I touch you?"
Hanamiya
-Not into it, considering his type is an innocent girl. -He's very disappointed about it though, considering he found you amusing. -Same goes for being the child of a sex worker. Your mind has already been tainted. -Hanamiya is one of those dudes who'd get hard from seeing you, but would never want you in his life for a million years.
Nash
-Absolutely into it. -Installed a pole into his home right away when he started dating you. -Goes to your shows all the time. -The one who always beats up every person trying to take advantage of you. -He's the only one who's allowed to do that, after all. -Often spoils you with pretty outfits. -Fucks you until your legs are too painful to make you able to perform. -He prefers private shows, over seeing you in clubs.
"You look so pretty on my pole too."
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k-s-morgan · 2 years ago
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i'm curious, do you believe that canon tomarry, hannigram or sebaciel are superstitious?
i personally don't believe that harry is superstitious. he believes in his and other's magic, but doesn't believe in stuff like prophecy or divination for example.
tom, however, is a different story. it seems to me that he believes in it, but believes in it in a way that it's something to be beaten and conquered and changed to his liking. malleable. like the prophecy for example. usually when you believe in superstition, it's set in stone, completely unavoidable, and is a force outside the realm of humanity - unless, of course, you're lord voldemort and believe that you can be the outlier to this rule if you're clever enough to outwit the whole system.
hannibal to me seems like he believes in the idea of superstition, or would like to believe in it, due to the romanticized feelings associated, but doesn't really believe in it. i mean, for crying out loud, he cannibalizes people. there's definitely a bunch of superstition based on that (usually negative) and he does it anyway. but maybe that's just his god complex making him think that he's the exception and grants him immunity.
and will...yeah i just can't picture him as superstitious honestly. he's unstable to all hell, but i do believe that he is firmly against the belief of the supernatural. i mean, he's literally teaching a class in forensics which is basically the antithesis of the supernatural.
ciel is 100% not superstitious. i'd bet my whole life savings on it lol 😂
sebastian on the other hand...might be? well, if it truly does exist in the kuroshitsuji universe that is. if it doesn't, then he doesn't. i definitely feel like being a demon would give him some insight on this.
also, on a little side note here: take your time updating! don't feel like you have to write within an imagined limited amount of time and feel guilty for not updating sooner. if your muse wants to add more, then add more! if you don't feel it necessary to add any more, then write less. whatever comes out of your writing is bound to be absolutely amazing if it's something you feel you did your best with, whether it took you four months or a few days to complete.
thank you for writing such incredible masterpieces for us, beloved author.
have a great rest of your day/night!
Hey! I can't believe I finally got to this ask :D So sorry for the delay!
This is a really interesting question. I agree with your interpretations: Harry also doesn't strike me as someone who believes in superstitions. He'd be more than content to spend his life just the way it is, without thinking of prophecies or deeper hidden meanings of things. However, after the war, I can see him becoming a little superstitious with years. Just, developing his own little rituals, sticking to the same routine for his day to go well: waking up at, say, 7:23, walking down a specific road, visiting a specific shop. He wouldn't attribute some deep meaning to these actions, but he'd feel like managing to follow them all means living another happy day and having a hope for the future.
I absolutely agree with your view on Tom. Indeed, he believes in destiny, and he sees it as a challenge to be overcome and bent to his will. His belief in the meaning of numbers, the way he timed his attack on his alleged fated enemy to take place on Halloween are interesting to think about. He doesn't just react to symbols and meanings as most people, he's actively trying to use them to his advantage. It creates another very interesting contrast with Harry, who accepts the order of things and finds a way to be happy even when everything is against him.
Hannibal is an observer, in my opinion. He probably believes in superstitions, but he prefers to analyze them from a distance. He doesn't feel the need to follow them or to let them dictate his life in any way. He might find the way they affect other people fascinating without feeling their impact personally.
With Will, I'd agree that he doesn't believe in anything like this, but he showed he has some superstitions at least partly at the start of S2. The whole "naming the bait after somebody you cherish and then you'll catch the fish" thing is mystical in nature. So I think maybe he used to believe in them when he was growing up, but when he left Louisiana and started working for the police/FBI Academy, he tried to kill all the things that people might consider odd or old-fashioned in himself. But deep down, his beliefs stayed.
Agreed about Ciel! Now this is someone who'd consider superstitions a waste of time and show no patience for it. Which is ironical, considering that he managed to summon a demon during a human sacrifice ritual :D Sebastian…I think he believes in what exists. As for the rest, he might show curiosity and caution - he's not arrogant in this regard, he wouldn't outright reject something he's not certain about. He'd try to either confirm or refute it.
Thank you so much again for this ask and for your words! My writing muse and I are generally always up for some writing, but circumstances suck lately. Still, I'm proceeding step by step, and I really hope to post a Tomarry update soon!
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